Friday, December 26, 2014

Shall end at where it started

Again, i do not know who shall i express out my thought.
Someone that i can just simply open up my heart to review what is deep in me.

Today is 26 Dec 2014.

If we are still holding on each other, it will be 3th year anniversary for us. In the pass few month, we broke up. I'm sure you and me having the hard time at the beginning of the break up. However, late on, i realize you had slowly walk out from the relationship. A love we  commit in no longer warm and healthy. It's remain cold and empty.
Today i'm sitting where we were started the relationship . Not sure you remember where is the place or not. I'm here sitting and observe. Nothing much has change from the place.
But people has changes. You and me has change.
I have stuck in this room call memory for the pass few month.
How i wish you will come back to me?
How i wish we can fall in love again?
How i wish today we still can holding our love together and celebrate for 30th month and 300th months anniversary?
No matter how i wish to, things will never turn into what i wish to.
So much of 不舍得, so much of the memory to view back. And i realized you just have no me in your life anymore. Its really really sad for me. I have remain in the room for quite sometime. I wanted to walk out but why can't i just leave. Why so hard?
One thing i try, i try to walk out from this room that fill with our memories.
I shall end at where we have started.
Good bye, my dear loves one. Izac CBL



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

What should I do?

What should I do?
What can I do?
How to rebuild the relationship?

Oh Lord, Father. Show me. Show me what you want me to see.

Let me have faith in seeing what you show me.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Sudden Holiday in Penang

It was a sudden trip with Boon Loong in Penang Island.
Just out of sudden, we want soemthing that is out of KL area.
Then, here we came to Penang.

It was a very short trip.
Not really tiring,
not really explore as what otehr people did,
not even have enough budget to eat, drink or shopping.

We are very brave for we just go like that.
A long the journey.
He sleep, I drive.
He talk, we chat.
He listen, I talk.
He seach for the place and I follow.

And here we have a simple and yet very exciting trip.

We do have the same idea to go back to Penang Island at one fine day
(whichever did not crash his study, our church services and financial available)

I always appreciate for the long journey driving as we have nothing to do
but a good moment to chat.
We get to know our life
whether blessing or burden, people or problem
funny things or not so funny things.
Most important is we do continue to grow together as who we are and yet belong to one another.
We always use to remind one another about what we promise to do but ..urherk,
share with one another our learning in the bible thought and talk.
Feeling great to have him around.


As I am a hot temper characteralist person. We did argue and even macam gaduh.
Since is a very rare holiday for us, I put that away.

We keep go around and find for the nice food for
chau kuey teow, laksa, popiah, oyster pan cake,
hawker prawn mee, curry mee, kuey chay, apom, ban chang

It was a fun trip.


on the way going to Penang.
Actually, he trying to take a photo whereby there is a waterfall at the hill there. Unfortunanely, it is too not clear to view from phone camera.
Before at Tapah, our opposite road happen a major and serious accident. the smoke can see from far end.

Here's the car burning at the middle of highway.
When I think of the person, I do feel very sad and sorry for the happening for this accident.
Therefore, make sure drive safe wherever you travel.

Our first stop when we arrived at Penang Island-Bee Hoi Kopitiam.
This is the starter we start of our day, Penang Popiah.

Then coming we ate oyster pan cake x 1plate (very delicious) i vote for this.
chau kuey teow x 1plate (very very delicious) and boon loong vote for this.
then we also order 1 bowl hawker prawn mee
all potion is quite small therefore we continue makan on..

 not so far on, we saw this pan cake beca which i think is delicious desert for us.
Not sure you realize or not. Many of the nice food is always come in a form with beca,
selling food at the road side, and always got few person standing around waiting.

And he result is, very delicious.
Boon Loong try the pan cake with egg. Very delicious.

a picture taking by the beach.

we seldom have photo session.
Here we have one.


Breakfast area. Just a few step a way from Bee Hooi Kopitiam.
And this is the famous KUCING LANE breakfast area.

He so gan cheong for the nice food. He walked ahead first.

I like this stall.
Can you see the Rasa Rasa Penang Board at the left side?
This is to tell you, this is the recommended stall from Penang food.
And the Koay Chap is very delicious.

Here is my bowl of Koay Chap.

Here is his bowl of prawn mee.
Because of too many people (Holiday ma) until no place to seat and we have standing just waiting 20mins +/- for a place to seat.
Then he go straight to the stall and say "ka ki lai"

His desperate for food's look

end with a simple and yet nice dessert. Apom
And realize many of those nice food also using charcoal to cook/making the food.

curi tangkap from another side.

After makan, we go jalan jalan.

Some street art.

This is build by metal. very geng.

Another famous street art.
And we need to Q up in order for us to take photo even in a second.

His pose and his pa-poi

one of the miao miao street art.

Last picture taking before we leave.

There is a consequences if we go for a holiday without a plan. There is your financial lari like mad.

Now then, we looking forward for another round of Penang trip. But with proper planning.

I'm looking forward for it.
=)

Friday, May 17, 2013

Be Patient







In view of above picture, I thought this is my house. My ever 1st house I gonna own it.
This is an apartment lot located at Pandan Lake View area.
Around 875sq ft on seeling RM 150K
3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, kitchen area and  balcony.
Facilities have fixed parking lot, security, jogging path surround the lake,
can view the church when I stand on the balcony.
After checking with the property agent and related banker,
 I'm qualify enough to apply house loan in single name.
Once you paid the deposit and make the S&P contract, 
I can go clear the house and live in it immediately.

This house has been empty for quite some year and no body has been living there.
Not sure is because of murder case or any criminal case happen before.
Because it is just well kept. Not even have a nail hole in the house.
Just that is on top floor, ceiling look old and window frame in wood 
which also quite some time already.

Indeed, is a good house. In overall, I love this house too.

In another issue, the house I'm living with my family member having a great debt
might just get bank take out if the debt is beyond what we can bear.
With this, I have a thought, it will be great if I buy this house down and be a backup
for my family member. Most important is, this house can immediately can stay in.
If my family able to be well in the current house, perphaps this call be our house for our marriage.
Isn't it wonderful.

However, I have decided not to buy this house afer allabove sound valid reason.

Reason being is I'm too rush or too hurry for not really a need to own a house.

The bible is right, I'm too hurry for what I have in mind, enviroment that I see
and the desire wanted to save my family member at least a back up for them.

To be honest, i don't have anymore money. I can't even afford to take out RM500 cash.

The reason being is I'm not praticing in trusting the Lord's timing.

I have going all out to look for
something what I can't afford,
something that I don't really in need yet,
something I'm dreaming about to own,
something I want without consider any consequences,
something that deceit for inner self that this is a good deal.

If result in not trusting the Lord, but hurry into it,
going around and asking for money,
not being patient enough to see to listen about it,
I'm the one who set the dream/hope in life.
At the same time, I'm the one who ruin my dream/hope.

With this, let me be a faithful Christian and said no
and wait for the Lord's timing.

The Lord will give what we ask even better than we ask,
all we need is to trust him with patience and faith.

Do my sharing stumble you or make you think I'm mad.

Actually, I just being myself in review what I hope to share about life
while I just don't know how should I share it in a conversation talk.

Thank you for many prayers for me.
I know there are few of my belover sister and brother in Christ keep me in prayer.

Thank you.

Averse that lead me thus far
Romans 8:18-30

Present Suffering and Future Glory

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Pray

This few day I facing an issue which I almost losing the house.

A debt is so deep until bank want to take our house for lelong.

With this, all family member gather whatever money we have just to save the house. We even asking money from outsider.

I'm so stress in this. How can a person like this in my life?

My heart break as I look at the one who is my father who just have no idea what is being lead like example, guard and protect the family and live with responsible as a respectful father.
No. Not a word he can understand about it.

When problem can be solve by money, it isn't a problem at all.

After a day, things settle down. We begin have a plan and long team structure in taking over what a father should do and now, we do.

I'm so full of emotion, anger, disappointment and distress on  what i can do for my family.

I don't have much money when it needed.

I just pray. keep pray and ask God "what should I do?"

Now then I see God is truly be gracious for me not because of I ask and He give. Is He give even out of my expectation. I get comfort when I meeting with my elder. I found how Christian being helping one another.

I learn to look around for the need of other and need for myself. Sometime it could be just very simple.
I learn to be relax and have peace even this kind of storm in me and yet learn to smile. It is easy for me to cry than smile. But with God, in trusting him truly need to exersice on my faith. Now I have another feeling when I sing God will make a way, when there seem to be no way.

I know God has he purpose in everything I have in life. A purpose to allow me to trust Him more, relay on Him more and be a good children under His name.

As for now, let me grasp His grace and be it thankful for how I should pray for wisdom in doing things as God showing His way for me rather than going on in my own path.

My family members, my friends, my love one,and  my brothers and sister in Christ, I pray that one day God will can merciful enough to show how His love for me and yet show to you.

Money.. worry of life.. all this will not help you to be a faithful and fruitful Christian if I continue taking them along.

Let's pray.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

the useless man

I born in 1987 in family carry my father's surname with Foo.

I'm the eldest among my siblings.

I have a useless man which is my father.

I feel so sad for my mother and the family member always suffer the consequences after his useless attitude behaviour.

I can't help but crying. I feel so sad for all this mess.

Get personal loan to help this useless man,
Get over 20k to ask bank not to sold our house to property company,
Get whatever we earn, we have to feed this useless man as my father.

I am so upset for my mum to get a useless man.

I pray, I won't get a useless man be my husband and my child suffer under the useless man's consequences.

Monday, April 29, 2013

I got married...

Yes, I got married....in dream.

Yesterday night I got a dream.

I have a very nice apartment but the living space very small.

Inside the house got 1 old lady and another family member which I can't remember who are they. But I saw them in the kitchen area and in living room and I walk back to my room.
I have a bed build with wood on top got cover with fine light linen and very comfortable place for me
(I know the feeling because I lay on the bed in the dream)
I saw my husband sleeping next to me which is CBL. He just there. Sleeping.
Later on we have guests to visit us. All of them come and congratulate me while I on bed ready for sleep. =='''
They are so many of them to visit my house until house almost no place stand.
But I only remember few are they. Got Vincent, Yvonne, Olivia Wee, Jason.
The house colour is white but the bed colour is wood colour. Is a square place and got few floor.
something like this but is wood colour
Room is much smaller than this.colour.

Then, somebody suggest midnight shopping. Then along got me, Irene, Man Yit, Benjamin and Yow Looi.

We were in a bookstore in somewhere else then half way the book store close and we got nothing but shopping in dark place.

Then I saw is time to go home but I lost my way until I also don't know where is it and what happen there.
I walk until very tired and got a small path and both side is full of蒲公英. I stop and play a while and saw my miao miao calling me..... then I wake up and my miao miao is calling at outside my room.

In dream, I still remember Yvonne said this to me:"Gong Xi you ah. Finally this day has come to you." then she take out my blanket and try to sleep at my side as well. =='''

However, I feel so sweet and happy in dream when I being congratulate by other about I'm married.

Well, now back to normal, oh well, I still need to trusting my Lord for this joyful day I would like to experience it.